If only we all could carry a spare Sharpie in our footwear to work. Imagine being able to drop into the hands of casual onlookers a personalized souvenir that immortalizes the moment of our every mini-glory, as Terrell Owens did.

I mean, think about it. Bob, after 10 whole minutes of washing up the coffee maker, brewing a fresh pot and pouring himself a steaming cup, rejoices in celebration. He whips a pen from his loafer, scribbles his John Hancock on the coffee filter and slaps it on Joyce's desk. Bob beams triumphantly. Joyce, naturally, is beside herself.

Don't you wish your world were more like Planet T.O.? Then again, think of the writer's cramp. And the constant threat of ink poisoning. Based on his matchup, Week 8 could be downright dangerous for Owens.

The 49ers are home against the Cardinals, whose pass defense is full of holes. Owens and Jeff Garcia should put up Nintendo numbers against a secondary allowing opponents to complete 60 percent of their passes for 235.5 yards a game.

That isn't even the best matchup of Week 8. The Bills get the Lions in Buffalo, which figures to be a gold mine for owners of Drew Bledsoe, Travis Henry, Eric Moulds and Peerless Price. Josh Reed, Buffalo's No. 3 receiver, might be a decent start against Detroit's wretched pass defense.

Ditto for the Raiders, whose big guns and even No. 3 receiver Jerry Porter--are fine starts against the Chiefs' league-worst defense.

Some not-so-obvious gems: Michael Bennett, against a Bears defense on its last legs; Clinton Portis, against a Patriots defense struggling to stop the run; and Chad Pennington and Laveranues Coles, who will air it out against the Browns. Deep sleeper: Chad Johnson, a burner who gets the Titans (15 touchdown passes allowed) at Cincinnati.

E-mail: jlangendorf@sportingnews.com

For more fantasy analysis and TSN's Fantasy Football Weekly Forecast, go to http://fantasy.sportingnews.com/nfl/.

COPYRIGHT 2002 Sporting News Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group