It’s a sales pitch straight out of an infomercial. The Gizmondo handheld—which hits stores August 11—plays games, movies, and music. But wait, there’s more! Act now and it works as a digital camera. And it’ll check your e-mail. And it lets you instant message pals. And it’s a global-positioning gizmo. “We’ve taken every single hip device on the market and integrated it into one,” says Carl Freer, managing director of Gizmondo Europe.

But all these features come at not just one price, but two. Gamers can buy the Gizmondo for either $229 or $399—the difference depends on if they allow so-called Smart Adds to download to their system. Think of them as commercials, for everything from new games to fast food to tennis shoes. Buy the cheaper Gizmondo, fill out your demographic details, and each day you’ll receive three 30-second Smart Adds supposedly tailored to your tastes and even your location. Freer says the advertisements won’t interrupt your games or movies, and they’ll often end with a bar code that local merchants can scan for discounts on the advertised item. “With bargains and coupons directly targeting a user’s preference,” Freer says, “the Gizmondo will ultimately pay for itself if you...purchase the less-expensive Add-enabled model.” You can also choose to enable Smart Adds later if you buy the full-priced device.

It’s easy to look at the Gizmondo—an oddly named system from unknown company Tiger Telematics (no relation to the Tiger that released Game.com back in 1997)—and wonder how it will ever compete with the $150 Nintendo DS and the $250 Sony PSP. “Shelf space is at a premium, and there are more platforms that require dedicated space now than there ever have been,” says Hal Halpin, president of the Interactive Entertainment Merchants Association.

But Freer is itching for a fight. “Sony and Nintendo are the major players,” he says, “but we intend to be the ones that shake things up and offer a new standard in handheld gaming that they can’t even dream of delivering to gamers with their current hardware.” And like the infomercials say: Wait, there’s more. We rate each of this mystery system’s functions and, more importantly, its games to help you decide if you should act now

Doing Its Things: Rating Gizmondo’s Functions

Global Positioning System

Gizmondo is the only gaming system that reads beams from outer space to show exactly where you are, your proximity to other Gizmondo owners, directions to the nearest 7-Eleven, and more. You can even transmit your location in an emergency (say, when gambling debts land you in a mobster’s trunk). Mapping software sold separately.

A good thing? The Gizmondo’s GPS is its standout feature—one we hope will make for unique gameplay experiences. The first candidate is launch title Colors, a gang-warfare game that has you defending your turf from other real-world players. Of course, the game will only work if enough people buy it.

The Camera

Gizmondo is the first gaming system with a built-in digital camera, which snaps 640x480-resolution pics you can send to friends or transfer to your PC.

A good thing? Picture quality is fine, but we’re geeked about the camera’s gyroscopic abilities, which sense the angle you’re holding it at (as in GBA tilt-sensing games like Yoshi’s Topsy-Turvy).

Adventure game Agaju, still early in development, is the first title to use the feature. Aim the camera in the direction you want to look in the game’s world, then snap pics of symbols to summon fairies. Gizmondo reps call it “augmented reality.” We call it a gimmick that could be fun in the right games.

E-mailing and Messaging

Like those BlackBerry on-the-go e-mail gizmos so popular with junior executives everywhere, the Gizmondo can send and receive e-mails and instant messages that contain pictures, music, and video files. These features won’t be free: The company is in negotiations with service providers.

A good thing? The only way to stay in better touch with your friends would be if Gizmondo worked as a cell phone, too (it doesn’t, but the company isn’t ruling out that feature for a future model). Built-in text-prediction software makes typing out long messages less of a chore, but we still prefer the DS’ easier-to-use PictoChat messaging function.

Music and Movies

Gizmondo uses Windows CE as its operating system (which comes with Windows Media Player), meaning it can play just about any music or movies that you normally enjoy on your home computer. Simply connect your Gizmondo to your PC via the included USB cable, then drag any movies or music you want to the handheld (you can also download tunes from www.gizmondo.com). The Gizmondo stores the content on removable SD media cards. A full movie can fit onto a 512MB card.

A good thing? The music and movies played fine, although we’d rather watch flicks on the PSP’s nearly twice-as-large, 16x9-ratio screen.

The Launch Games

Electronic Arts, Ubisoft, Microsoft, and more publishers are all aboard to make Gizmondo games, but that doesn’t mean you’ll find many recognizable names in the system’s launch lineup of 15 to 20 titles (with another 80 or so due by the end of the year). In fact, many Gizmondo names sound downright weird (It’s Mr. Pants, Momma Can I Mow the Lawn?) or even dirty (Ball Busters). The games themselves—the graphics of which look about as good as PSP titles—come on SD cards that sell for between $20 and $40. (The system ships with a card packed with demos.) Here’s a look at what’s worth buying—and what’s not—come launch day.

The Good

Trailblazer—A simple futuristic racer that has you using special turbo and jump tiles to achieve the best time. Perfect for quick-fix play in bursts.

Sticky Balls—Laugh at the title all you want (and we have), but Sticky Balls is a fun puzzler that’s part pool, part Tetris, part geometry lesson.

Hockey Rage 2005—Like most Gizmondo games, Hockey Rage is simple fun, if not exactly challenging. And it’s not too hard on the eyes, either.

The Blah

Fathammer Classics—Three games in one (a racer, a shooter, and a puzzler), but only the addicting block-dropper (above) held our interest.

Gizmondo Motocross 2005—A run-of-the-mill dirt-track racer hampered by a limited top-down view.

The Just Plain Bad

Pocket Ping Pong 2005—All the teeny-bikini skin of Tecmo’s Dead or Alive series wrapped around a lame Ping-Pong game. We’re turned off.

Toy Golf—Tabletops and floors make for the hardest minigolf game we never want to play again.

The Not Ready for Review

Colors—Wage gang wars on your own real turf using Gizmondo’s GPS feature.

SSX 3—EA Big’s supreme snowboarding game hits Gizmondo. EA also has one other “major” franchise game in the works for launch.

Ball Busters—It’s like squash but in 3D. And in the future.

Interstellar Flames 2—When aliens attack, you attack back.

Richard Burns Rally—Ultrarealistic off-road racing.

FIFA 2005—In Gizmondo’s homeland, they call soccer “football.” Silly.

Chicane—A street-racing sim starring British speed nut Jenson Button.

Copyright © 2005 Ziff Davis Media Inc. All Rights Reserved. Originally appearing in Electronic Gaming Monthly.